Conquering Fear

This morning I found myself in the gym browsing social media when I came across the song Fear Is A Liar by Zach Williams.   The individual that shared the song took the time to ask those reading to make a point to reach out to people around them with a smile, a text, a phone call or a personal visit; you never know how these small acts can change a person’s life.  Take a moment to look the song up and listen to it, you won’t regret it.

It struck me that I too often find myself afraid.    Not afraid of the scary things that hide in the closet or beneath the bed, nor the things that go bump in the night.   I like so many of you find myself afraid of the things that life presents us with.

Is a new love real?  If I share my heart, hopes and dreams with him will he break me emotionally?    If he breaks me, will I ever be the same?    Is it okay to give my beautiful child the keys to the car? I’ve protected him forever, held him in my arms at birth and wrapped my arms around him to ease the pain of cuts and scraps, disappointments and unrequited love.   How can I watch him leave alone and exposed to so many dangers that I cannot control?  Is my mom truly okay?   Will her cancer return and if it does will she fight again?   The last time was so very difficult.   Daddy is moving slower and his time draws short; how could I move forward without his guidance?   What will tomorrow bring?   How will I deal with it?  Can I deal with it?  What if I can’t?

These fears are very real as each of us know.   They are palpable.    Sometimes they are fueled by mistakes we have made in our past.   We must remember we are more than the mistakes that we have made and have hopefully learned and grew as a result of those mistakes.   If we carry the knowledge gained from each experience with us we are better for the mistakes we’ve made.    We can use that knowledge to conquer the fear that seems to smother us.  After all, we cannot expect change if we continue to do the same thing.

What about the fears that are not fueled by our past?    How do we deal with those?   We could look back to the wise Aristotle who believed courage was the most important quality in a man. “Courage is the first of human virtues because it makes all others possible.”   That’s pretty deep.   In fact, it’s deep enough that there is a lot of research taking place determining how courage works in our brain and our lives.    Researchers recently determined that courage is not only facing our fear; it is also about coping with risk and uncertainty.

In our daily lives can we open ourselves up to those around us, willing to take the chance on them and ourselves?   As we present ourselves selflessly, we can own our fears by being honest with ourselves and admitting what they are.    If we take this step we may not completely conquer the fear, but we minimize the power it has over us.   We can move past the fear.    In reality, we all know that if we put ourselves openly before others we may encounter those that will hurt us; but can you imagine the good you are opening yourself up to?   It is better to be loved by the majority than allow a few small-minded individuals to take the beauty away.

Back to Aristotle, he believed we developed courage by performing courageous acts.   He wrote, “You will never do anything in this world without courage.”   Look into yourself and find your courage.    Believe me, that courage is different for everyone.   We face different challenges and different fears.   For some the act of getting out of bed in the face of depression is an astronomical task.   For others watching their child pull out the driveway alone for the first time is heart-rending and devastating as it marks the beginning of many new things.   For others observing the slow deterioration of our parents is overwhelming.  All of these things and others call for us to reach deep and find the courage that resides in us.

Fear and courage are facets of our lives that we often face alone; but remember a kind word or deed can change someone’s life in the moment and go on to inspire them forever.

While we may enter the world alone and we may leave it alone; there are many, many things that happen between those two moments.   Be happy, be supportive, choose to really live your life, choose to genuinely love those around you, be courageous and conquer your fears.   In the end it is worth the effort.